Tawny
by Cerise Glacee
Summary: NOTE TO READERS! Please read the author's note!
1. I Must Not Tell Lies

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and all characters affiliated and otherwise. Duh.

"I must not tell lies."

Harry felt the searing pain in his hand for the first time. The sharp black quill given to him by Professor Umbridge had written 'I must not tell lies.' on the parchment in an oozing red ink. He pressed his finger very lightly on the crimson writing, and then studied his hand where it appeared to have been engraved. "Blood," he thought, "my own blood." He wordlessly returned to what he realized was virtually etching the words into his own hand. Harry hopefully tried to focus his mind on something else: his homework, Sirius, or his new friend. However, nothing seemed to draw away from the burning sensation in his hand that repeated each time the razor-sharp quill grazed the parchment. He peered hatefully at Professor Umbridge, who had her back turned to him and was absorbed in a puce-colored book.

Harry continued scrawling the sentence onto the paper. He felt an unexpected tap on his shoulder, and whipped around to see a girl stepping out of thin air. "Tawny?" Harry whispered, almost inaudible. Tawny held her finger to her lips and evanesced into the invisible void again. Harry stared, puzzled, and then felt soft breathing next to his ear.

"What the hell?" a disembodied voice asked, obviously shocked.

"Are you crazy, woman? What are you doing here? Wait, where are you?" Harry asked, eyes darting around the room.

"Over here," came a whisper from his left, "Your hand! It's bleeding!"

"I know, I know... look, just go on, all right?"

"She's making you cut your hand?!"

"Yes... just... it's all right... go on, you'll get into trouble."

"Harry, give me the quill. Come on, your hand is already starting to look like the Grand Canyon."

Harry hesitated for a very long time, but finally relinquished the quill. He watched as fresh blood appeared on the girl's hand after each word was jotted down. Something inside him twisted, and he sat frozen, watching the cuts on Tawny's hand become deeper every time she copied the sentence. Harry heard a faint whimper and immediately felt as though he had committed murder. He couldn't believe he was letting someone get hurt for him, much less his good friend, Tawny.

"Tawny, you don't need to do this," Harry said desperately, "I can live through detention."

"You seem to be missing the point. This is a friend/friend thing. I help you. It's in the contract."

Harry fell silent for a moment. "Fine, but I'm taking you to see Madam Pomfrey after this, and you are _not_ coming back here tomorrow."

"Fair enough." said Tawny, forcing a smile.

The girl resumed stiffly replicating the sentence. A short while later, Professor Umbridge's chair slid across the creaky floor. "Go. Now. I'll meet you in the hallway." Harry said breathily. A minute later, Harry joined Tawny in the corridor.

"Hey, thanks. I can't believe you did that, though," said Harry. He noticed that Tawny was beginning to go scarlet, so he quickly changed the subject.

"Is that my Invisibility Cloak?" Harry asked.

Tawny nodded and said, "Sorry, but I had to. I knew if Snape caught me, he'd think you were up to something. I had this feeling that you were in trouble, so..."

The last words silenced Harry. Someone else was playing the hero, he thought. The feeling was an alien mix of uncertainty and relief. The words came without thinking...

"Will you go to the Sock Hop with me?"

Tawny, slightly ahead of him, stopped abruptly, causing Harry to collide with her. He tumbled backward, with Tawny following shortly behind. Tawny found herself with her shoulders pressed into Harry's stomach.

"Uh... I'd love to..." she smiled, tilting her head back to look at the boy.


	2. Fight in the Great Hall

"Ow was de-ention wif Umbridge, then 'Arry?" asked Ron through a mouthful of roast beef, "'Ey, Tawny, whah wer' 'ou?"

Tawny blushed slightly and said, "With Harry."

"Dat ol' bat gave 'ou de-ention, too?" asked Ron.

"No," said Harry, "she came to help me out."

Ron looked to Tawny's hand and uttered a low "ohhh..."

"Well, I think Harry's perfectly capable of taking care of himself, Tawny," said Hermione frowning, "After all, he has been in tighter situations than Umbridge's detention."

Harry moved his hand to Tawny's and said rather matter-of-factly, "Well, I didn't see _you_ helping me there."

"_I_ was obeying school rules. I don't sneak into detention to get my hand scarred up for no reason."

"Yeah, you wouldn't, would you, Hermione?" Harry said coldly, "School rules are far too important to save your friend from a few slices on the hand, I suppose?"

"That's not what I meant and you bloody well know it." Hermione hissed.

"Oh, isn't it? 'I don't get my hand scarred up for no reason'? Am I no reason, now?" Harry said heatedly.

"Harry, what she did was not only unnecessary, but it was against the rules. As a prefect, I am entitled to report this to Professor Dumbledore."

"Oh, come off it, Hermione! You're just angry because she was the one who helped me for once!"

Harry's face suddenly broke into a grin.

"Or maybe it's because Tawny and I are going to the dance together."

"Honestly, Harry. Where do you get off being so full of yourself?"

"I reckon it's true, Hermione," snickered Ron, "I think you're angry with Tawny because you fancy Harry."

Hermione gave an unconvincing snort of laughter.

Harry glowered. "Oh, no, Ron. That couldn't possibly be the problem. Hermione would _never_ like _me_."

"Oh, Harry, stop being so self-absorbed!"

"I'd like to know what your problem is! Ever since Tawny arrived here you've been a complete git."

"I'm being a git? All you do is spend time with her. You haven't even been doing your homework."

"You pay attention to when I do my homework?" Harry said incredulously, and then turned to Tawny, "Do you want to leave, Tawny?"

Tawny nodded and waved at Ron, who was pouring a ladleful of custard onto his plate.

Harry wrapped his arm around Tawny's shoulders as they walked and said, "it's all right, Tawny, Hermione's always been a bit... overbearing."

"I'm really sorry about this, Harry. I don't want you guys fighting because of what I did," said Tawny, who was staring down at her shifting feet. A blond boy with two underlings at his sides appeared and smirked at Harry.

"Oh, look here. I see Potter's got himself a little girlfriend," Malfoy said scornfully to his thuggish bodyguards.

"And I see you don't, Malfoy. Who're you going to the Muggle Sock Hop with, then?"

"Pansy Parkinson, if you must know. Now if you'll excuse me, Potter..." said Malfoy as he shoved Harry out of the way, causing him to pin Tawny to the wall.

"Ouch! Sorry, Tawny. Did your hand – oh no." Harry said, alarmed.

"What's wrong?" Tawny asked Harry.

"Tawny..." said Harry, pointing at Tawny's hand.

Tawny looked down at the bandages on her hand, which were now saturated with blood. A small scream escaped Tawny's mouth, and she backed up against the wall, eyes wide with shock.

"Y-you didn't even feel that?" Harry stammered, ever-so-lightly raising Tawny's bandaged and bleeding hand.

"Oh, God..." Tawny gasped with deep breaths of distress.

Harry placed his hand on the small of Tawny's back and walked her to the infirmary, leaving a dripping blood trail along the way.


	3. Liar!

"She'll be fine. Bleeding of the hand is very easy to stop," said Madam Pomfrey, "What I would like to know, though, is how her hand – well, you see, it appears as though her hand had had pressure applied to it from the top. Since her hand was swollen, the pressure caused the scabs to 'burst', so to speak. Any ideas, hmm?"

"Well, we were in the hall, on our way to the Gryffindor common room, and Draco Malfoy shoved us into the wall, and I guess I fell onto her hand."

"Ah, I see. I would advise you talk to Professor McGonagall. Things like this only progress and will by no means be tolerated."

Harry nodded and sighed. "When will she be coming back to class?"

Oh, she'll be fine as soon as I bandage her hand up. I'm going to do that right now, if you'll excuse me."

Harry waited about five minutes or so for Tawny to appear in the room again.

"I'll kill him. That Malfoy is so..." Harry started, fists clenched.

"Come on. Let's just go to the common room." Tawny said soothingly.

"Aren't you angry at him?" Harry asked, as though Tawny didn't realize the severity of the situation.

"Of course I am. I was the one who had to drink that awful Pain-Away potion. It tasted like it had dung in it. Er – by the way, Harry, does – does Hermione hate me or something?"

"I don't know. Hermione is difficult to understand sometimes. Honestly, where does she get off threatening to report you to Professor Dumbledore?"

Harry hadn't been walking long before he felt a smooth hand take hold of his. He looked down from the corner of his eye and saw that it was Tawny's. He stole a look at Tawny's eyes, but her face was craned in the opposite direction, unmistakably trying to avoid his eyes at all costs. They continued walking until they reached the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"Password?" she said monotonously.

"Vinum Aqua." Tawny said.

"Ladies first," offered Harry.

Tawny stepped in, followed by Harry, only to find the room vacant.

"Still at dinner," muttered Harry, "Wanna sit down?"

"Sure."

They swept over to a maroon couch on the right side of the room and started talking about a number of things: quidditch, the forthcoming O.W.L.'s, and finally, the sock hop.

"Um, so, what are you wearing?"

"Harry, that would ruin the surprise!" Tawny said with a smirk.

"Oh, come on, Tawny," Harry said, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

"No, I think I'll leave you wondering," said Tawny, who tucked her head under Harry's chin.

They sat in silence for a minute, and then Harry stood up and walked over to an untidy trunk. He pulled out a CD and popped it into a CD player.

Tawny gazed curiously at the shining disc. "What are you playing?" she asked.

"You'll see," said Harry.

Harry pressed the "PLAY" button, and a boyish voice started singing in a bouncy, upbeat tune.

"Stevie Brock?!" Tawny gasped.

"Yeah. Dudley pocketed it from some girl over the summer. I sort of... swiped it." Harry said, grinning.

"That's just weird." Tawny said, giggling.

"Well, I think it's fitting," said Harry, who had sat down and was playing with Tawny's hair.

'If you're down tonight, all right, let's get this party started right, ooh yeah, if you be my baby. When the stars come out tonight, we'll dance until the morning light, ooh yeah, if you be my baby.' Stevie's voice chorused.

"That's not a bad idea," Harry said, smiling again and leaping to his feet, "You wanna dance?"

"Dance... in here... to Stevie Brock? Oh yeah, Harry, you're a real romantic."

"Come on. We're going to have to at the sock hop, so..."

"I wasn't saying no, Harry. If you wanna dance, then let's dance." Tawny said sweetly.

Harry beamed and held his hand out to guide her up. Tawny took hold of his hand and pulled herself to her feet; soon she was dancing in sync with the music and gazing into Harry's bottle green eyes. Before Harry realized it, he was cradling Tawny in his arms, kissing her softly.

"Ron, you don't think he really likes her, do you?" Hermione said, looking at Ron quizzically.

"Yes." Ron said simply, almost lackadaisically.

"Well, what does he see in her? She's only been here for a month. She has no regard for rules and is completely overprotective with him." Hermione said, crossing her arms as she walked.

"Password?" the Fat Lady said lazily.

"Vinum Aqua," snapped Hermione.

The portrait scowled and swung open. Hermione half-stepped in and started fuming again.

"I think she's playing Harry," Hermione said, still looking at Ron.

"Do you really?" a voice from behind Hermione said bitterly.

"Harry!" Hermione shrieked she turned around.

"You think she's playing me, do you? I understand. You're jealous! Why do you hate Tawny so much?"

"I'm telling you Harry, she's no good! You only have time for her, you never spend any time with us, and I heard you talking about her in your sleep!" Hermione yelled.

Harry turned to Tawny and gave a nervous smile. Tawny blinked repeatedly and gave a look of pseudo-flattery.

"And you have a problem with that?" Harry said complacently.

"I do!" Hermione barked, "Ron, you agree with me, don't you?"

"Um, I'm gonna have to go with Harry on this one. Tawny's really nice."

"Gits! All you lot! You have no idea what I saw!"

"What are you talking about, Hermione?" Ron interjected.

"I – I saw her kissing Malfoy!"

"Liar!" Tawny exclaimed. Her eyes flashed with fire as she advanced toward Hermione.

"Don't you _dare_ accuse me of something like that. I swear, Hermione, you don't want to get on my bad side right now."

"Are you _threatening_ me?"

Ron and Harry sensed an imminent catfight and were quite anxious to see the results.

"No, you silly addlepate. I'm planting rhododendrons and quoting Martha Stewart."

"Don't insult my integrity, you little whore!"

"Whore?!" Tawny barked.

Without a moment's notice, both girls seized the other's shoulders and forced the respective adversary to the ground. At once, they began grappling. With flying scratches and hair-tugs, the two wrestled furiously until pried apart.

"Tawny! Tawny!" Harry yelled as he wrenched the fuming girl from Hermione.

"That bitch! Let me go!" Tawny roared, still struggling to release herself from Harry's grip.

"Tawny!" Harry shouted again.

"What?!"

"She's gone."

"Huh?"

Tawny opened her eyes to see that, in fact, Hermione had dashed from the room.

"That was brilliant!" Harry and Ron said in unison.

Tawny rolled her eyes at the incredulity of how much the two enjoyed watching the girls brawl.

"Just for the record, Harry, you didn't really believe her when she said I kissed Malfoy, did you?" queried Tawny, who was actively smoothing her hair.

"Well... I mean... she seemed to..." Harry hesitated.

Tawny stopped dead.

"_You believe her?_"

"No... I didn't mean that..."

Futile. Tawny walked briskly from the room, dismayed.

"Quite a temper on that one..." Ron offered.

"She's not normally this hot-headed. I think something's wrong..." Harry said reflectively.

"You'd bloody well better figure it out, mate. She seemed really upset."

"Not helping."

"Your point?"

Harry exited the room in pursuit of Tawny. 


	4. Confrontation

Harry found her later in the library. She was twirling her hair with her fingers and fidgeting with her beaded bracelet, obviously extremely miserable. He would have said something, but instead decided to question Hermione. She was discovered seated in the Gryffindor common room, nose buried in a book as usual.

"If you're here about that prat of a girlfriend, I don't want to hear it." Hermione grumbled monotonously.

"What the hell is your problem? Do you even _realize_ how much you hurt her?"

"If I may say so, it was well deserved."

At that moment, Ron walked in, brandishing a chocolate frog.

"Am I interrupting something?" Ron asked, looking confused.

Both looked up and scowled.

"I see the little conflict has yet to be resolved, so I'm just going to go now..." Ron excused himself.

"How can you be so calm about this? This whole mess is a lie!"

"So you do believe me?" Harry's eyes met Tawny's.

"Yes, I do. Come on, I know you better than that. You wouldn't go off snogging with Malfoy."

"You know, I'm really fed up with you treating us like shit now that she's here," Hermione interjected, eyed the couple in question coldly.

"I don't! Merlin's beard, Hermione! If you wanted to spend time together, you should've said something!"

"Having a little spat, are we? How wonderful," a cold voice interrupted.

Everyone in the room spun around to look at the owner of the voice.

"Hello, Professor Snape," said Tawny.

"Good evening," Snape said slowly, "Professor McGonagall would like a word with you and Potter."

"Any particular reason?" said Harry defensively.

Snape's lips curled into a foul smile.

"Somebody's informed us about a little secret you two have. I'd expect more from Miss Tawny here, but I am well aware that you have had more than your fair share of trouble."

"Sir, we have no idea what you're talking about," Tawny said.

"Tell it to McGonagall," Snape said, looking more poisonous than ever, "I suggest that you expect the worst."

"Why's that?" Harry snapped.

Snape dropped his voice to a whisper and brought his greasy head close to the young students, "Because we've found out what you've been doing after hours."


	5. That Damn Hermione

Tawny's jaw dropped. Harry, who was bearing the same shocked expression, was ready to say something when Professor McGonagall entered the room.

"Potter, Miss Weary, would you please follow me?" said Professor McGonagall, who had a look of condescension about her face. She escorted the students to her office, sat down in a large mauve chair, and peered down at her tightly folded hands.

"This is a difficult situation, you two."

"Perhaps you could explain it to us before continuing, then?" said Harry.

Professor McGonagall appeared bemused.

"Potter, we are aware of your actions together and feel the need to intervene."

Harry and Tawny assumed identical expressions: fallen jaws, wide eyes, and raised eyebrows.

"Ma'am, there must be some mistake. Harry and I haven't..." said Tawny, looking momentarily at Harry and then at McGonagall again.

"I see. There must be some other reason three people reported seeing you two together," said McGonagall, obviously not swayed.

"Three people!" Harry said disbelievingly.

"Three people, Potter. I would suggest you speak to Madam Pomfrey about getting some protection," warned Professor McGonagall.

"Professor McGonagall, you have to believe me, I didn't..." Tawny's voice trailed off, "you're not notifying my parents, are you?"

"I'm afraid there is no other option," said McGonagall, though she didn't sound as though she meant that she was, in fact, sorry, but rather that she was trying to be polite, "I do not wish to do so, mind you. Nevertheless, the students who have expressed their concerns came forward for the sake of any potential pregnancy that may arise from your actions."

Tawny smacked her forehead. Harry stared wide-eyed at the girl next to him. Strangely, he pondered the idea for a moment. It seemed strange that someone so young was capable of bearing a child. He had just never considered the idea.

"Supposing we did - I mean - well, surely there are other students who are actually doing it as well...?" Harry suggested.

"Of course, Potter. At this age, students are especially reckless. Seeing that we are aware of _your_ actions at this time, we have no choice but to intervene."

Harry thought for a moment.

"Madam Pomfrey, would it be possible to arrange for the use of Veritaserum to prove our innocence?"

Professor McGonagall held her finger to her lip as though deliberating the suggestion.

"All right, Potter. You two are to see Professor Snape tomorrow at noon. I will make arrangements with your teachers to let you out of class. Now then, you had better be going to bed. Good night."

Professor McGonagall ushered the students to the door and into the hallway. When Tawny saw that McGonagall had gone back into her office, she spoke.

"Harry, is Veritaserum really safe?"

"It is, if you're given the right dose," replied Harry.

"Harry, you don't think Snape would..."

"No, he wouldn't."

"Are you sure?"

"No," said Harry, smiling.

"That helps. Well, g'night, Harry," said Tawny as they neared the dormitories. She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and turned right, blushing furiously.

"Wait, Tawny, come back!" Harry said, rushing toward her, "Do you want to come to the Gryffindor common room instead?"

"Why would we go there?"

"Just to – connect, I guess."

"All right. Wait, what time is it?"

"I dunno. There might be a clock in the common room. Let's go."

Harry took Tawny's hand and led her to the Gryffindor common room. They sprawled out in front of the fire, laying their heads on their folded arms and talked for hours, not noticing the flying minutes pass them by.

"So, Harry, who do you think told Snape that we were..."

"Three people, eh? I expect it was Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle."

"Ugh. I can't believe this. Think about it: we're going to be given Veritaserum by Snape. Who knows what he could find out if he gave us just a drop too much?"

Harry smiled and said, "He'd find out that I really like you."

Tawny blushed coyly and looked downward. Harry took her chin in his hand and claimed her lips. Tawny graciously returned the kiss, but broke it off abruptly when she heard a gasp.

"So it's true! You _have_ been out after hours!" came Hermione's voice.

"Bloody hell, Hermione, do you always have to do that?!" Harry said heatedly, "What are you doing here?"

"I was going to ask you two the same question!" Hermione retorted.

"That's none of your business," Harry said bitterly, "Did you come looking for us?"

"No! I was patrolling around the grounds and I _– happened upon_ you two. What on earth were you doing?"

"We were just – oh my god, Hermione, you don't think that we were _doing_ anything, do you?" Harry said.

"As a matter of fact, I do. You two can do whatever you please, but I warn you, Snape and McGonagall are watching you. You'd better not do anything stupid," she said with a nasty smirk, "everyone already thinks you did. More than once, I might add."

And with that, Hermione swept out of the room, sneering haughtily.


	6. Draco's Move

Harry woke the next morning feeling dizzy and listless. He somberly slipped into his robes and began walking to the Great Hall for breakfast. En route to his morning meal, which he was anticipating more than usual, Harry heard an annoyingly familiar voice calling to him.

"Why so tired, Potter? Of course, I would be too if I were up with Tawny all night," sneered Malfoy. Ten people surrounding the Slytherin erupted into laughter, while many nearby girls giggled and whispered amongst themselves. Harry's neck burned with embarrassment, more so when he spotted Tawny across the hall, heading for breakfast as well. He desperately hoped she wouldn't see him.

"Hey, Harry!" she called.

Malfoy gave an awkward smile and motioned for Tawny to come to him. Tawny was puzzled at the sight of the Slytherin waving to her, and must have shown it, because Harry shook his head and mouthed, "I have no idea".

"Hello, Tawny," Malfoy said, still wearing his faux smile.

"Um, hi...?" said Tawny, who was keeping a safe distance of roughly ten feet.

"Come here, now, don't be shy."

Tawny looked at Harry questioningly, but Harry, who was at a loss as well, just shrugged. Tawny reluctantly drew near the simpering blond, now facing him and standing akimbo.

"Tell me, Tawny, do you always fall for the heroic type?" said Malfoy puckishly.

"What are you talking about, Draco?"

"Wouldn't you like to have a little fun once in a while?"

Tawny raised her eyebrows and nervously swept the hair out of her face. Harry rolled his eyes.

"Malfoy, what the hell are you going on about?"

"Fuck off, Potter," Malfoy snapped, then returning to his cloyingly sweet tone, "Follow me."

Harry felt an odd mix of thoughts; one being of anger, and the other, strangely enough, of how funny Draco sounded as he tried to be charming.

"Uh..." uttered Tawny speechlessly.

An unexpected smile played upon Tawny's face.

"All right, Draco."

Draco grinned and hoisted Tawny's slender, petite body into his arms. Tawny looked over Draco's shoulder to Harry, who seemed horrified. Tawny mimed the words "don't worry, I've got a plan" to him, and he gave a small sigh of relief.

"What?" Harry lipped soundlessly.

"You'll see," came her silent response.

Harry, confused and befuddled, turned away, fully trusting his girlfriend, yet somehow still skeptical.

"Hey, Harry, call me daft, but is Draco _holding_ Tawny?" Ron queried.

"She got a plan, I guess." Harry responded.

"I'll never understand that bird..." Ron said with a mystified shake of his head.


	7. Rescheduling and Chicago

Malfoy carried Tawny back to the Slytherin common room; fortunately, the majority of the students had abandoned the hallway, and so no one had seen him holding her. He rested the girl onto the plush green couch and sat next to her.

"So then, did you hear about that Muggle Sock Hop? Pathetic. Who on earth would want to dress up like some bloody bobbysoxer?"

"I'm going," Tawny said plainly.

"With Potter, I assume?"  
  
"Mm-hmm."

Malfoy chuckled and looked down.

"You really should scope out who you like more carefully," he purred, sliding his hand to Tawny's hair.

"The bastard..." Harry muttered; he had been spying through a window and occasionally pressing his ear against the wall to hear the conversation.

Malfoy pulled the girl closer to him, resting his head on hers. Tawny rolled her eyes and mouthed something that looked oddly like "Harry, where in the hell are you?"

Malfoy whispered contentedly into Tawny's ear, "What do you say we –"

He was cut short by feedback, followed by the sound of a woman clearing her throat.

"Attention – may I have your attention, please? In light of recent events, there is to be a new addition to the curriculum. Gryffindor and Slytherin students, 5th year and above, are to begin sexual education classes today. Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw will begin the following week. Additional information is posted outside the Slytherin common room; please consult the blue sheet located, once again, outside the Slytherin common room for information on teachers, schedules, and the like. That is all. _Quietus_."  
  
"Oh, fuck..." said Tawny, leaping to her feet and darting to the entryway, where she saw a familiar raven-haired boy pressing his ear to the wall.

"Harry! What are you doing here?"  
  
Harry lifted an eyebrow, as if to ask her if that was an honest question.

"Stupid question. Where's the blue sheet?"

Tawny scanned the hallway, finally resting her eyes on a powder-blue slip of paper pinned to the wall. She glided over to the slip of paper and cursed aloud.

"What is it?" Harry asked.  
  
"We're paired with Slytherin for Sex Ed. With Snape as our teacher. Can this get any fucking worse?"

"Actually, it can. We have to take the Veritaserum in a few hours."

"You've got to be kidding me,"

"What time is the Sex Ed. class anyway?"

Tawny skimmed the information sheet.

"Eleven o'clock. We have to take the Veritaserum at noon, so we'll miss part of Herbology."

"That's all right. We can get the notes from Hermione."  
  
Tawny unsuccessfully tried to conceal her sour expression at the sound of Hermione's name. Harry glanced at the clock.

"We have three hours until then. What do want to do?" Harry asked brightly.

"How about some TV?" Tawny piped.

"I thought Muggle devices didn't work inside Hogwarts grounds," Harry said, eyeing her curiously.

Tawny rolled her eyes as she removed her wand from the interior of her robe.

"Honestly, have I taught you nothing, Harry? _Televisio!_" Tawny said with a swish of her wand. A burst of scarlet light illuminated the room, followed by a tiny flickering square materializing in midair.

"_Crescere._" Tawny said, tapping the screen with her wand. Instantly, the square began to expand until it was the size of a small movie screen.

"Whoa..." Harry said in admiration.

"Come on, let's sit down." Tawny said as she led him over to the couch. Harry seized the opportunity to lure Tawny into a soft, tender kiss. Tawny jerked backward slightly at the unexpected act, but warmly returned the welcome show of affection. After a few moments, Tawny flinched upon hearing the television cut to a particularly loud commercial. Harry jerked back, blushing slightly.

"Do you think you could..." Harry said awkwardly as he motioned to the screen.

Tawny tapped the square with her wand three times.

"_Abeo_." Tawny commanded, and the square evaporated with a faint _pop!_

"Hmm... now it seems empty," Harry said pensively, "_Symphonia!_"

A crack erupted from the left corner of the room, and then the room filled with the sound of a piano playing.

Tawny had heard the chorus before, but she couldn't quite remember the song. 'I know this song... what the hell is it?' she thought.

"You should know, everywhere I go, you're always on my mind,  
in my heart, in my soul..."

Tawny mentally kicked herself. Duh, she thought. It was her favorite song.

"A love song. How ironic."

"Whatever." Harry said and claimed Tawny's lips again.

"How cute."

Harry and Tawny broke from their embrace, obviously displeased with the intruder.

"This is getting ridiculous, Hermione." Tawny snapped.

"Put a sock in it, you prat. I'm here to tell you that your little appointment with the Veritaserum has been rescheduled."

"To...?" said Harry, incensed at Hermione for insulting his girlfriend.

"Now."


	8. Malfoy: Live on Stage

Note: This is my longest one ever. It is funnier than the others as well;, it has a twist that I don't think anyone expected (muahaha!), along with another song (muahaha-er!) by the Beach Boys. This time, though, the song is a MAJOR part of the chapter. As a side-note, in the next chapter, a question-that-you-didn't-know-you-wanted-answered will be answered. Read on, my fair followers, Sandypantz being one in particular...

"And he couldn't have sent Ron..." Harry murmured under his breath as he helped Tawny to her feet.

"Damn it, Harry, I can hear you." Hermione growled.

"And we'll be going now, _right Harry?_" Tawny cut in, squeezing Harry's tightly clenched fist.

"Sure," Harry muttered.

Tawny and Harry ventured into the empty hallway and walked to Snape's classroom. Snape had been waiting for them in the doorway.

"Come in."

Harry and Tawny stiffly sat on the chairs that had been positioned in front of the professor's desk.

"Let's get this done and over with, shall we?" Snape droned. He rose to his feet and walked over to a small cabinet crammed with all sorts of potions, scrolls, bottles, and other bric-a-brac that Snape seemingly had no use for.

"Where did I put that bloody – ah, here it is."

Snape poured a drop of clear liquid into each of the two small glasses before him.

"Cheers," Harry offered.

The teens quickly swallowed the flavorless potion, then tumbled backward in a semiconscious stupor.

"Damn. I forgot the pillows." Snape said through a wide smirk.

He knelt to Harry and brushed the hair from the boy's ears.

"All right then, Potter, did you or did you not have sex with Tawny Weary?"

Harry shook his head.

"Ah. Tawny, did you or did you not have sex with Harry Potter?"

"No."

Snape rubbed his chin meditatively.

"Potter, what –"

CRASH!

"What in the hell..." Snape barked as he scampered to the third floor to investigate the clatter.

"Harry! Tawny!" George called, "We came to bust you – out? Oy! Fred! He's already given them the potion!"

"You know what we have to do then, eh, George?" Fred said, ambling into the room sporting an impish grin.

"Allow me," George offered, clearing his throat, "Tawny, what is your bra size?"

Fred laughed so hard that his ribs ached.

"36B."

Ecstatic tears threatened to fall from both of the twins' faces.

"Okay – okay – my turn!" Fred managed to gasp between hysterical sniggers, "Tawny, what color are your knickers?"

George fell backward with a spasm of laughter.

"White, you dumbass. Now stop asking me questions about my lingerie, will you?" Tawny said vacantly.

"Shh... George, I think I hear Snape coming!"

George picked himself up and joined his brother in sprinting out the door so quickly that a gust of wind blew the sable hair from Harry's face. The footsteps Fred had heard proved to be, not Professor Snape's, but Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle's.

"Professor Snape? Are you there?"

Draco entered the room and a grin of satisfaction spread across his face.

"Crabbe! Goyle! You've gotta see this!"

The two hulky minions hobbled into the room.

"What happened?" Goyle said in his gruff voice.

"Who the hell cares? Get a camera!" Draco said excitedly.

Goyle trotted to the Slytherin common room to retrieve the camera that his mother had recently sent him. A minute later, he was back.

"I got the camera, Draco!"

"Good. Hand it over."

Goyle passed Draco the camera, and before he even realized it was out of his hand, Malfoy was furiously clicking the button.

"Damn Peeves. I'll have the Bloody Baron on him for this one,." Snape's voice rang through the hall.

Crabbe jabbed Malfoy in the rib. The feverish blinking ceased, and the boys slipped out of the room before Snape noticed the intrusion.

"All right then. _Evigilo_!" Snape muttered as he brushed himself off.

Harry and Tawny's eyes fluttered open.

"You may go now."

The students rose, blushing slightly, and hurried out of the room.

"Do you think..." Tawny started.

"Nah." Harry finished.

Students started spilling out of the Great Hall.

"Extra! Extra! Read all about it!" Draco yelled, waving a stack of papers in his hand.

"When the hell did we get a school newspaper?" Tawny queried.

"Read all about the not-so-secret romance between Harry Potter and Tawny Shirah!"

Tawny's eyes widened.

"He didn't!" Harry breathed.

"He did!" Tawny slapped her forehead.

"With pictures!" Malfoy called excitedly.

Tawny immediately tripped and fell on her knees.

"WHAT?!"

Ron strolled by with a copy of the scandalous newsletter.

"Ron, can I borrow that for a moment?" Harry said tensely.

"What the devil were you doing in that photo?" Ron said, surrendering the paper, "You looked like you were under a spell."

"Veritaserum, genius. Malfoy must've taken pictures." Tawny said.

"That sick fuck..." Harry said blankly.

"What?" Tawny said, peering over the newspaper.

"Look what he wrote! 'That must be the dazed look of a job well done'? I'm gonna kill him!" Harry stormed.

"I dunno, Harry. Professor McGonagall frowns upon that sort of thing. I've got a better idea." Ron said with a thoughtful smile, "You'll see."

With that, Ron ran off, dodging the screaming students who were trying to get a copy of the tabloid.

Lunchtime rolled around, and neither Harry nor Tawny had heard from Ron. They sat next to Seamus and Neville, who sternly refused to let them forget the photograph. After several minutes of Neville and Seamus's taunting, Tawny spotted Ron slinking, unseen, around the Slytherin table. The newspaper had truly been a hit; every Slytherin at the table couldn't resist reading and rereading the article numerous times, making it all the easier for Ron to slip a blue liquid into Malfoy's pumpkin juice. Ron snickered and returned to the Gryffindor table. All he could say was "watch" as he pointed to Malfoy. Malfoy picked up the publication and laughed once more before taking a long swallow from his goblet. Ron observed with amusement as Malfoy's face began to convulse. His entire body was soon trembling; still, everyone's attention seemed to be fixed upon the paper. As if all the pent-up energy inside him had drained fro his body, he impassively swept over to Crabbe and Goyle and whispered something into their ears. Crabbe's eyes bulged; Goyle dropped his fork and his jaw followed.

"Have you gone mad?" Crabbe asked incredulously.

Draco closed his eyes and a smile formed on his lips. He leaned his head between the two and whispered again, quieter this time, shielded by the chatter of the other students. Crabbe's eyes widened to an almost inhuman size, and Goyle became incredibly pale. They quickly agreed.

The trio walked in front of the Gryffindor table, and with a wave of Malfoy's wand, a stage appeared. Draco nodded and the three of them leapt atop it.  
  
"Attention!" Malfoy cried.

Each student's head turned to the Slytherin.

"What the..." Oliver began.

Tawny's mouth opened to say something, but immediately snapped shut, as she knew exactly what Malfoy was going to do next.

"Oh my god, Harry, they're going to sing..."

Crabbe was the one to start the song, which Tawny recognized right away.

Ba ba ba ba Barbara Ann

Ba ba ba ba Barbara Ann

"Shit!" Tawny gasped.

Barbara Ann, take my hand

Barbara Ann

You got me rockin' and a-rollin'

Rockin' and a-reelin'

Barbara Ann ba ba

Ba Barbara Ann

Went to a dance, lookin' for romance

Saw Barbara Ann, so I thought I'd take a chance

With Barbara Ann, Barbara Ann

Take my hand

You got me rockin' and a-rollin'

(Oh! Oh!)

Rockin' and a-reelin'

Barbara Ann ba ba

Ba ba ba ba black sheep

Ba ba ba ba Barbara Ann

Ba ba ba ba Barbara Ann

Barbara Ann, take my hand

Barbara Ann

You got me rockin' and a-rollin'

Rockin' and a-reelin'

Barbara Ann ba ba

Ba Barbara Ann

Malfoy ripped off his shirt in the wild tumult, exposing his lean torso and causing deafening screams and squeals from countless girls.

(Let's go now!)

(Ow!)

(Hal, and his famous ashtray!)

(You smell like Rocky. You're always scratchin' it.)

(Hey, come on!)

(Scratch it, Carl, scratch it, baby, right over there.)

(Down a little lower. Down a little lower!)

(Saw-- Tried--)

Tried Peggy Sue

Tried Betty Lou

Tried Mary Lou

But I knew she wouldn't do

Barbara Ann, Barbara Ann

Take my hand

Barbara Ann

Take my hand

You got me rockin' and a-rollin'

Rockin' and a-reelin'

Barbara Ann ba ba

Ba Barbara Ann

Ba ba ba ba Barbara Ann

Ba ba ba ba Barbara Ann

Barbara Ann

Take my hand

Barbara Ann

You got me rockin' and a-rollin'

Rockin' and a-reelin'

Barbara Ann ba ba

Ba Barbara Ann

Barbara Ann, Barbara Ann

Oh, Barbara Ann, Barbara Ann

Yeah, Barbara Ann, Barbara Ann

Barbara Ann, Barbara Ann

You got me rockin' and a-rollin'

Rockin' and a-reelin'

Barbara Ann ba ba

Ba Barbara Ann

At this point, Dean Thomas had become hysterical and jumped onto the stage, joining in with the troupe of Slytherins.

(Let's try that again. One more.)

You got me rockin' and a-rollin'

Rockin' and a-reelin'

Barbara Ann ba ba

Ba Barbara Ann

(Ha ha. Let's try it one more time.)

You got me rockin' and a-rollin'

Rockin' and a-reelin'

Barbara Ann ba ba

Ba Barbara Ann

(Let's try it once more.)

(One more time. More artistic flavor.)

One more time

You got me rockin' and a-rollin'

Barbara Ann

Woah

You got me rockin'

You got me rollin'

Oh, Barbara Ann

(Thank you very much, folks.)

(Thanks, Dean.)

(Yeah, it's not bad.)

Earsplitting uproar washed over the entire room. Loud whoops and whistles could be heard clearly in Professor Trelawney's tower. Such a display had sparked riotous behavior, and Fred and George had only just whipped out some enchanted firecrackers when Malfoy started convulsing again. His body stiffened and became rigid, then relaxed. He collapsed with one final twitch, striking his head on the wooden flooring on his way down. Instinctively, Tawny bounded onto the stage and lifted Malfoy's unmoving head.

"Oliver! Get Madam Pomfrey!" Tawny shouted.

"Tawny, is he all right?" yelled a panic-stricken Ron.

Tawny stroked Draco's blond hair and dropped her voice.

"I dunno, Ron."

For those who aren't familiar with it, that cheery little number was Barbara Ann by the Beach Boys. If you didn't know that already, I will beat my head on a particularly large and sharp rock. Repeatedly.


	9. Author's Note: The Unanticipated Hiatus

To the readers:

I am _terribly _sorry for the – wait, how long has it been now? – delay, but I swear, I have an alibi. See, my computer is a candy ass tart. It's a piece of crap. It sucks. Unfortunately, we don't have $1000 to blow on a new one, so... yeah.

Anyway, it crashed. Luckily, I retrieved the file, and the next chapter should be up in a week or so... or sooner... I don't know. _I am SO sorry about this, guys. _Anything else? E-mail me at . Thank-ya-kindly, folks.

By the way, on October 18, I will be changing my screen name to DeifyKenJennings. The story will be on that screen name from now on, with many changes.

Thank you, you're beautiful.


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